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Mastering the art of self love

Mastering the art of self love


I recently finished a book called The Mastery of Love. It's quite a small book, I finished it in a day, but it is packed full of wisdom. It's about how humanity is domesticated and conditioned to lead with fear: the majority of peoples actions and thoughts are mainly out of fear and all of those negative emotions because that's what we have been taught to do whereas as children we only lead with love.

He set his room on fire with me in it

He set his room on fire with me in it


"I don't love you anymore" he snarled whilst admiring himself in the mirror. I was sat on his bed waiting for him to get ready. The words struck me like a bolt of lightning and I had to fight back the tears that threatened to erupt from my eyes.

"Good, that makes the two of us then." I smiled and forced the lump in my throat back down to where it came from. I wasn't going to let him get the reaction he wanted from me. Not this time. He turned to face me, his dark hazel eyes stared into mine and thick deep lines appeared upon his forehead. I continued to smile, locking my eyes deeper, refusing to give in.

A soft, nervous giggle left my lips.

"You think it's funny, do you?!" he lunged towards me "I'll show you fucking funny!" he shouted as he reached for the baseball bat which was sat beside the T.V stand. I clutched at the end of my sleeves and lowered my eyes. All I could see was the faded denim jeans I had decided to wear that day.

"Look at me then!" he bellowed. I hesitated before lifting my head up to meet his gaze. My eyes widened and my palms started to sweat. He was still holding the baseball bat. I saw veins throbbing beneath his skin as he walked over to his large oak table in the corner of his hostel room. My eyes followed him in anticipation as he grabbed the lighter fluid from the windowsill. Not knowing what he was going to do I held my breath. 

He slowly twisted off the lid whilst staring at me. My eyes shifted around the room until I heard a splash upon the table top. My eyes darted back to him as he started to pour lighter fluid all over the table. A piercing laugh left his lips followed by mutters of "I'll show you fucking funny."


The fundamental elements of self care

The fundamental elements of self care


I wrote about the difference between Mental Health and Mental Illness the other day and mentioned that having a hot bath/going for a long walk aren't fundamental things to ensure you maintain a healthy brain. We've all seen the list posts of what to do when you're sad/depressed, I've written a few myself lol (you can read them here and here) but realistically, they're not a massive contribution to our brains health. So what is true 'Self Care'? What should we be doing daily to help our Mental Health?

Self-care is not only treating ourselves like royalty, it is also restricting ourselves from those treats we wish to indulge in as soon as shit turns sour. We've all heard the term "You gotta look after your Mind, Body and Soul" so here are some things to consider:

MIND:

♡ Are you talking to yourself in a kind way?

♡ Are you celebrating your successes? (yes, even the small victories like getting out of bed)

♡ Are you feeding your brain positive, healthy information?



BODY:

♡ Are you getting enough sleep?

♡ Are you feeding yourself all the right nutrients?

♡ Are you moving your body as much as you probably need to?



SOUL:

♡ Are you surrounding yourself with the 'right' people?

♡ Are you doing things that make you truly happy every day?

♡ Are you living by the values and standards you set yourself?



Not only is self-care making sure each of these bases is covered, it's making sure you continue to cover them when you're not feeling tip-top. 


🌙 It's putting yourself to bed at your bedtime even though you want to binge watch that new series you're hooked on because you know you need your 8 hours sleep and value your body over watching it.


🌙 It's not buying that new thing even though you really want it because you have a clear budget for the month and value your own peace of mind over that materialistic thing.

🌙 It's cutting off toxic relationships as soon as you recognise they're toxic even if you have been best friends with them for 10 years because you value the all around happiness of your life and listen to what your intuition (soul) is telling you.

🌙 It's making a budget and sticking to it because you appreciate the fact you're bad with money but strive to be a better you instead of believing it's just a part of you that you cannot change

🌙 It's swapping the family sized bar of chocolate for a pot of fruit because you value your body and want to keep it as healthy as possible.

🌙 It's choosing the chocolate over the vegetables on rare occasions because you value your soul and listen to what it truly needs.

Self-care is as much the things you treat yourself to as the things you restrict yourself from because essentially, you know what you need and you know what's good for you. If you buy a £100 bag when you're already balls deep into your overdraft, that is not Self Care, that is Self Sabotage. Self-care is knowing your needs and acting accordingly. It is treating yourself with kindness every single second of the day even if that kindness doesn't seem too kind at the time.  

What do you do to practise self care?